Funny Truths… part 2

My previous truths post was so popular, I decided to follow it up with another one 😛

1. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before I get tired.
2. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
3. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes me feel really manly.
4. I never know where to look when eating a banana.
5. There’s no panic like the panic I momentarily feel when I’ve got my hand or head stuck in something.
6. Everyone had a family member (usually an uncle) who tried to steal their nose.
7. Why are they called buildings, when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
8. Dog’s cannot be trusted to watch your food for you.
9. Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
10. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
11. Laughing is good exercise.
12. After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F
13. The best and often embarrassing type of laughter is when you laugh so hard and can not stop till you run out of breath and no noise comes out. Once that happens you just sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
14. I don’t mind when other people are right, just as long as it does not make me wrong.
15. If you try to fail and you succeed, does this mean you have failed or succeeded?
16. Technology is AWESOME… most of the time. When it just refuses to work correctly it cam be the most frustrating thing in existence.
17. When. People. Choose. To. Write. Like. This. It. Drives. Me. Crazy.
18. Most useful text message: “I’ll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again.”
19. Have you ever changed a whole text message just because you didn’t know how to spell one word?
20. Coolest feeling: half waking up during an awesome dream then falling back asleep to finish it. Sad feeling: not being able to fall back asleep.
21. Seeing, talking about, or even reading about yawning will often be enough to make me yawn.
22. It sucks when you rehearse something in your head and it sound so awesome but when you go to say it and sound like you have multiple speech impediments.
23. When you have gum everybody is your friend.
24. The biggest and most frequent lie of my life … I have read and agreed to the terms of use.