Tag Archives: funny universal truths

Truths

  1. Nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
  2. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. Actually made up for it a lot in my later years of education.
  3. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? Maybe its just a guy thing though.
  4. Was learning cursive really necessary? Only time I kinda use it is my signature, but its more “chicken scratch” than signature according to my friends.
  5. Online maps really need have an option to start their directions at #5… I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  6. I can’t remember the last time I was not at least a little tired.
  7. Bad decisions make good stories (and good photos/videos).
  8. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. I’ve noticed this becomes progressively earlier at the beginning and end of the work week though.
  9. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection… again. Hopefully digital will become viably legal though and we can ditch disks all together though!
  10. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of a program and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my document that I swear I did not make any changes to. Sometimes I want to save just in case but then I worry I’ve deleted something perfectly good!
  11. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away? Or got so mad that you dared to miss their call they are ignoring you now?
  12. I hate leaving my house feeling confident and good looking and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  13. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. Sometimes its fun to come up with creative new names for these callers.
  14. I think the freezer deserves a light as well (I know that some do now… but my old one did not… poor guy)
  15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would argue that more kisses begin with alcohol than with jewelry.
  16. I wish Google Maps had an avoid ghetto routing option, otherwise known as the “please don’t shoot me” route.
  17. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. I think I was probably too naive to grasp the more subtle plot elements.
  18. I would rather try to carry 10 overloaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
  19. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to do something on my phone (or makeup for girls).
  20. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  21. How many times is it appropriate to say “what?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? I think 3 is a good choice.
  22. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in line at the front. Stay strong people!
  23. Shirts get dirty, underwear gets dirty. Pants? Not so much. This is why in college my (#underwear)=(#pants)*(20).
  24. Is it me or do high school kids keep on getting dumber and dumber every year? Also smaller and smaller.
  25. There is no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  26. As a driver I dislike pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I dislike drivers, but in both modes of travel I dislike bicyclists.
  27. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is (or I guess my smartphone now since I keep on loosing/destroying/forgetting my watches).
  28. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on my donkey. But I’ll bet that almost anybody can find and push their snooze button from 3 feet away in about 2 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time :-P

If you liked this post, see Truths 2